What if..

The saying goes, "You always want what you can't have."

BUT... What if that day came where you could get what you perceived you couldn't have?! The day came and the first thought that ran across my mind was "I don't know if I want it anymore!!" I want to pass.

Is this a good thing or bad thing?

Sneak Attack

Certain rules should be respected in the dating world.That being said, if you find yourself ever calling from an outside line because you feel like someone who recognizes your number will not answer, this is a sign that perhaps you should be allocating your minutes to someone else.

With that being said, what is the best thing to do if you begin 'talking' to someone and change your mind? I used to belong to the school of being polite and easing out of the situation.

However, time is precious and people do not necessarily want to hear that they are not the object of your affections. And so, lately I have been simply cutting things off. No answering phone calls, text messages, or emails. I thought I was safe and in control until I make a dumb decision to answer a call from an unidentified number.I don't know what the best answer is. I don't like being rejected but I do know not to be annoying. This may not necessarily put me in a better position.. maybe I remain more prideful and single than ever.

If It Makes You Feel Better

Racism is the reason why Socialism will never plant its roots in America. Racism has many parallels to organized religion. It gives one justification that they are suffering but fighting the good fight because they understand the bigger picture. Every race, ethnicity at some point embodies enthocentricism because they must in order to make sense of their place in the world. It's why a guy I dated who was latino said "we are the cleaner and better latinos" referring to the darker and more indigenous looking latinos. He and his family found comfort in knowing that their position in white-America may not be at the top tier as far as race goes but it didn't matter since at least they were dominant over someone.

This scenario isn't too much different from a father who gets shitted on at work and so he beats his wife and the wife hits the kid and the kid kicks the dog.


Or a bunch of guys or girls on the prowl for a date at a bar/club. If a good looking guy or girl disses them, they feel better to say oh well..nothing was lost since he was a douche bag or she was a skank anyways. This mentality that I am superior to you or I have something you will never have, is trap too easily fallen into by especially those with little to no life exerpeince. I don't mean going backpacking through Europe but understanding the history of the world and human beings. I am not Tom Cruise on a couch exclaiming I know the history of the world, you don't. The point is, that our world till this point is a story and it is important to seek information of how the story unfolded.

Being an Asian American, I am extremely weary of being prodded the Model Minority. What does this mean? What if we let you down? When we are out of charachter will you judge more harshly?

Thoughts for a Wednesday night

Breaking your silver lining requires multiple freight trains to run through your head, evidence of footsteps to be lost in the snow, fallen tears underneath the light of a fingernail moon.

Underneath the light of that fingernail moon, I learned what it meant to find solace in fear of the unknown. It’s supposed to hurt like hell if you do things right. Satisfaction lies in knowing that if done with your heart you will never be the same person as you were yesterday.

Just Another Routine Monday

SF is starting to feel like Fremont.

Yesterday I rode my bike navigating through the Presidio as if I was seeking a new adventure, but the SF wind patterns were all to predictable... not to mention the faces too.

I frequent several Starbucks and the high school kiddies recognize me as a "regular." Yes, the same Starbucks that I used to despise for many reasons including the fact that Starbucks beans cannot be traced to any specific set of hands and cups made from less than 50% recyclable materials is simply not good enough.

I am always looking for a beverage to make it through the day whether it is a large ice coffee to awaken the senses, a glass of something California and not to new in hopes of relaxing, or a hot tea to counter the cold. Who am I kidding, they serve the same purpose and bleed productivity.

I overheard the same conversation in the Marina in a matter of minutes of people talking about how they are all about "working to live, rather that living to work." If only.

Welcome to my world

Today is the official launch of my new blog, Susan Everything, not to be confused with lesser known and "raunchier" blogs of others.

I shall begin my first entry with a desperate afternoon (on my part). My palms were sweaty as I thought I was embarking on a new romance with a kindred spirit. Sparks flew. Emotions ran high. And then, disaster struck... How was I to know that a statement such as "Do you want to go out on a date?" really didn't mean that someone wanted to go out on a date. An overpriced education could not teach me that I had to in fact decipher a hidden message. The hidden message for today can be summed up into one word: DISASTERFULNESS.

I am melancholy and at the bottom of a drain.